I already told Katie this, but I don't think she ever listens to me. sooo.....

watching Amish Haunting, I have learned if you have sex before marriage and get pregnant, then get married real fast and say you got pregnant on your honeymoon, you will deliver a goat baby. if you are a (Pennysvlania Dutch word with a B...something like Broujah?) witch, when you die they will plant a tree over your grave to keep your witchcraft contained. but if a storm damages or kills the tree....YOU COME BACK! so, someone should probably plant a tree over my grave. if an enterprising Amish dude builds handcrafted furniture out of this wood instead of burning it like the Bishop said, anyone who has contact with this wood will be possessed by said Amish witch. You can and will by shunned. even if you are a blind young Amish witch. and you will drown in a reservoir. The Devil is always out to get you if you're Amish. If you buy a house with electricity and just pretend like you removed all the wiring and use it secretly.....SHUNNED. if you move to another Amish community after being shunned because your husband is dying and you want him to go to Heaven, so he dies there and they don't know and bury him in Amish custom, the dead will rise from the cemetery and tell everyone he is unholy and they will dig him up and remove him outside the cemetery confines. SHUNNING is apparently forever. and if you are an English who kindly gives a doll with a face to an Amish girl? she will be possessed. the doll will be burned, the house will be exorcised, you will have no contact with the girl again. Amish dolls can have no faces. The Bishop can come to your house whenever. He is the law. Pray all you want. He tells you what to do, and everyone listens to him. if he thinks someone is possessed....PRAYER CAMP. if you die shunned....you go to HELL. The Bishop is the ultimate authority on everything. buried in black/buried outside the cemetery: going to HELL. buried in white: going to HEAVEN. buried without confessing your sins to the church? you're going to be buried in black outside the cemetery and going to HELL. your family is disgraced.

so, to sum it up. If I die first and Kevin insists on planting me instead of cremating me...best plant a tree. just for the safety of humanity. just sharin' the knowledge.