today is the first time I sat on the bench during my WalkFit walk at park. not once. TWICE.

I've been watching the reels. The TikToks. I am trying to give myself grace. to accept myself as I am. to know that pushing myself too hard trying to get quicker results makes it harder. that I might not have enough lifetime left to 'fix' all my unhealthy habits and choices. to take it one day at a time. to sit down before I have a massive coronary. at the park. on the asphalt trail. with the ants and roly polys crawling over me. kids ramping their bikes over me. other walkers stepping around me. someone calling Kevin at work. I don't know if I will ever love myself. I want to. I just don't know how. I don't know if I can even continue the Axsom motto of "it is what it is." so I sat down. twice. the world didn't stop. no one saw me do it. I wouldn't judge another walker taking a break. but I'll condemn myself for it.

where oh where has my friend shaped like me gone? oh where, oh where can she be? she's been missing from my WalkFit workout 2 days now, where oh where could she be? she's still on the dance workout. thank sasquatch.

visited Izzy for a while. then home for graham crackers and peanut butter for lunch. cause it sounded good and I'm an adult. got the urge to try a leap. and I kinda did a couple. and these shorts were snug when I got them. now they're comfortable. I've also had the urge to do short jogs up and down the hallway. huh.