procrastination
[ proh-kras-tuh-ney-shuhn, pruh‐ ]
noun
the act or habit of procrastinating, or putting off or delaying, especially something requiring immediate attention:
She was smart, but her constant procrastination led her to be late with almost every assignment.
sigh.
I have a lot of big dreams. big plans. I live in my head a lot. a. lot. sometimes I am inspired to do something great....or to attempt to do something great. I'll see a cool voodoo doll on Etsy and make my own version. or my Basement Barbies, transforming old much loved Barbies into a caricature of a serial killer or victim or someone infamous....
I store these ideas in my head. on my blog. in notes scattered all over the house. cleaning up for Thanksgiving, I'd moved the stack of (about a 2" stack of) stock images I'd printed out for my Scooby Doo & The Gang Quilt that lives in my head. a lot of paper, ink, time. it was on top of the printer. I moved it to basement and put on my sewing table, precariously stacked with other big ideas yet to be attempted. right by my brothers clothes I had washed in prep for making a memory dog out of. he loved all animals. especially dogs. well. Christmas is a comin', so decided I needed to take this new pattern I'd got off Etsy and John's old clothes and try to make some dogs. one for me, one for mom, one for the sisters if I had enough to work with. pretty sweet idea, right? I was quite smug about it. earlier I had a Bear pattern I was going to use for this project, but made it out of scraps first, and I just didn't like it. mainly because I was convinced I'd ordered the dog pattern. which obviously I didn't. but I was going to work with it. but no. no no no no no no no. it came with no instructions, just hard plastic templates. it was ugly. it went to wherever our trash ends up. couldn't even make it creepy. so, back to my story.
today is my day off. now, I am unemployed. joyfully unemployed. but it's bb season, so I pick up Zerelda after school when Daddy has her because.... BB practice. and these are fun afternoons. but since I don't get off my ass to do anything till about lunch, cuts into my 'time'. because I procrastinate. I sleep late. first world problems. ANYHOO. today was the day I would make the practice dog. went down to switch laundry. thought why waste my time on a practice dog, I'll just go slow and carefully follow directions and I can't screw it up. looked at John's clothes on sewing table and there is a weird rainbow stain on his pants. all the paper printouts are drenched. I look up. I'd. put. them. right. under. the. duct. work. that. sweats. sometimes. drats. so, tossed all wet paper. back to zero on that project. John's clothes back into washer. this is the lesson of procrastination, I guess. just fuckin' do shit. but I have to be in the right mood. feel the inspiration. the creativity. so. now? guess I'll read the pattern and get ready......
