I'm a mid west farm girl.

but on vacation I am kinda a lake girl or a swamp girl or a mountain girl or a spooky girl. not 100% bonded. not 100% committed. yeah, I love these places. I will hang out there. I will watch y'all climb peaks and drive air boats and jump off a boat in the middle of the lake for fun. but I'll stay in the boat. cause I was raised on a farm and ponds were dangerous and my folks were busy doing farm stuff 27 hours a day. they didn't have time to play with their kids, let alone fish their lifeless bloated corpses outta ponds and call the funeral home. they were on constant overtime and massive coffee intake. best not drown or fall out of a tree and break every bone in your body. I have so many built in limitations. I am a chicken shit. yeah, I'll sit on that boat until I slow roast, but I'm not jumping in. I'll take videos of y'all. have fun!

do I miss sitting in my oversized chair half asleep watching tv and nursing a huge ever present sweet tea? eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted? unlimited cold Pepsi?

sigh. yes, I do. but....I've only lost 15ish pounds, but something has changed. I feel lighter. sometimes I even feel (dare I say it it?????!!!!!)cute. yeah, I sweat and bitch and whine. sometimes the steps are endless and the Walk fit routines are too hard. and I still drink my one Pepsi a day and eat (smaller) amounts of things I shouldn't. I still click on those miracle just take this pill weight loss methods. but I know deep down inside that I need to change. for myself. I don't look different on the outside, but I feel different on the inside....I've even caught myself buying 2x clothes. because they look like they'll fit. and it's ok to wear a t-shirt that doesn't hang to my mid thighs and blow over my head in a breeze. yeah, I'm still fat. but I don't always see The Circus Fat Lady When I look in the mirror anymore. maybe I'm giving myself grace. accepting who I am. growing into my own skin. still trying to keep it on the down low, not setting myself up for failure if it doesn't all work out. just a continuous journey. cause I've lost weight before. but. I. have. never. ever. ever. maintained. weight. loss. I've probably lost over my current weight in pounds over my lifetime. I am firmly convinced that fat people think differently. and Fat Deb will always be in my mind somewhere. let's just hope she's kind.

had a wonderful weekend at Milford Lake with KatIe & Brayden & Koren & fam!

Katie is much better at picking out vacation housing than I am! we had lake time and s'mores and star gazing and hanging out in the house. and we got to eat breakfast with Millie on her 5th birthday! the guys even got a bonding beer run.

today I was inspired.....

I polished up Mom's old door, drug it to basement, and put the 217 on it. will lean against wall when glue dries, hang the Stanley ghost, maybe frame some of my Stanley pics and place on door? used an old canvas to display my Nick Groff Tour Bobby Mackey's shirt. dismantled an antique frame from Melissa to frame the Odd's Voodoo print. and Walk Fit is tracking my steps. is this a good use of my time? (giggle). (snort). (guffaw).I also did some laundry. so, productive day. have to take Rip to boarding, pack for our weekend trip, shop at HyVee, meet girls at carnival uptown tonight. and still haven't done my Walk Fit workout or ate anything....

today I had 2 fasting tests at Corydon Hospital. scheduled another one for August 8.

finished the sample blocks I'd cut out for baby quilt. Kevin lit up his cigar after work.

The. Stanley. Hotel.

saw it from the highway driving back and forth through town. it was majestic enough. Enchantingly beautiful. but when we drove up to it Thursday night for The Shining Tour...breathtaking. I was literally walking on air. saw 2 little ground squirrels by parking area. (and saw them again when we were checking out Saturday morning!) I couldn't go up the grand staircase as a tour guest....we stayed in the basement and lobby. the tour got us into some 'off limit areas.' The McGregor Room. (The Stanley Hotel's McGregor Room is one of the reportedly haunted locations visited by the Ghost Hunters team. According to the team's investigation, a cook heard a party going on while the room was empty, and two employees saw a figure appear between them as they talked. The room is also associated with residual hauntings, which are often linked to areas containing a lot of quartz, as the hotel is built on deposits of limestone and quartz.) The Caretakers Cottage. The house where male employees once dwelled. Kevin did the Shining Door picture. I posed in the bathtub. and in one of the twin cutouts. and by the baby faced guy. went to The Gift Shop. bought a 217 door plaque and a tiny Stanley ghost, who is now Gustavos bestest friend.

as a Stanley Guest I could walk up and down that Grand Staircase all I wanted. and. I. did. and made Kevin take pictures of me on it. (several steps up, of course!) also took many trips in the beautiful golden doored elevator. We had an excellent supper at The Post...and Kevin tipped so well that his credit card sent an email to make sure it was correct! we ate on the patio under an umbrella with a fabulous mountain view. we got some big cold raindrops walking back to truck for sweatshirts. but Colorado squalls (in our limited experience) blow over quickly. walked every hall. every staircase. found every haunted door. I took pictures. upon pictures upon pictures. I sat in our hallway on the fancy old-fashioned sofas. on the front porch. in the lobby. I walked the hedge maze. I walked around in the dark and in the light. re-enacted our honeymoon. (was I possessed???) Kevin walked with me the first go-round, then I prowled alone. there were 2 girls clothed in black on our floor-the haunted 4th floor- investigating. the floors and stairs and doors were delightfully creaky. Super quiet upstairs. loud and full of life downstairs. the tours. the bar. the wine bar. special events. I overheard part of a ghost tour while I was porch sitting in the dark. our ceiling fan made a comforting thump thump all night. the brisk mountain air. they had an inventive little unit that had a pipe in window bringing in fresh air. the lobby and basement had doors and windows open for the air. (no a.c. not needed in the mountains.) also saw open windows upstairs. I thought I heard creaking like footsteps in the corner by closet but didn't see anything. dreamed I had to breed sows & bake pizzas in an old nursing home using chairs as a barrier between boars and sows instead of gates. THe pizza boxes were well worn-various sizes with old travel stickers like travel trunks on them. And a girl who was wiping her hand over her hoohah and wiping bloody handprints on the wall. no Stephen-King-my-son-riding-a-trike-in-the-hall-and-being-attacked-by-a-firehose-turned-into-a-snake ....but disturbing, nonetheless. woke up 6:24 a.m. to sun streaming in our double windows. we left the curtains open. I could see HUGE pines and birds flitting everywhere. on our way out I stopped at The Colorado Cherry Company bakery and got a white chocolate cherry scone for breakfast. It was worth every penny of the $6 something. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world getting to not only take a Stanley tour, but be a paying guest. wow.

while walking around Estes Park, we found a bookstore, and upon inquiry, I was led directly to the shelf with Stephen King's The Shining. I started reading it at our 3 night hotel, read it at The Stanley, and am still reading it at home. of course I have read this book in the past. I am pretty sure I had a copy, but couldn't find it. and the one I ordered from amazon was lost in transit. but The Shining and I were destined to be together.

today I used amazon prime credits to rent Stephen King's The Shining mini series, which was filmed in The Stanley Hotel. The Shining (original) is also for rent on prime, plan on watching that again. before our quickly planned trip, I watched a couple of GrimmLifeAdventures episodes on YouTube, they had filmed at 2 locations that The Overlook Hotel was based on. my kinda people!

was The Shining Tour worth 2 $30 tickets? absofuckinglutely. and was our room worth $499.72? I think so. I still can't believe we had this adventure!!!! it was on my bucket list for-practically-ever!

Kevin back to work.

I picked up Rip, finished up laundry, vaccumed. called and made dr. appts. for tests. did a bit of work on Creepy Corner 2.0. we went out to farm to look at corral, picked up farm trailer, and made 2 trips taking lawnmowers out and putting in barn so we can mow tomorrow nite. his brother borrowed the good trailer for homecoming. ordered snapfish pics of trip.