Dear Diary. starts 14Feb2001 (my modern day notes are in parenthesis. deb)

14Feb2001 Date Day. Snoball off chain. school got out 8:45 a.m. weather. KJ fell in front of garage. Kevin tried to put old LR light into DR since that light rope broke, but screw holes don't line up. braved freezing rain (which seems a bit foolhardy when you have 3 kids) for a date nite at Toot Toots.

15Feb. Family Reading Night. Kate spit out antibiotic p.m. and hit me in face with her water bottle. you can feel the love.

17 Feb car freezes in gear now takes 10-15 minutes before it'll move and E brake is broke so have to park in gear. getting close to bedtime Katie peed in lazyboy, on the couch, and on KJ's fave blanket she'd drug into kitchen. love potty training.

Koren just found out that November 2 is All Souls Day. cool.

19Feb2001 H&R Block. Kate hit KJ in head with the ladder from the doll bunkbed.

20FEb KEvin to knee specialist Kirksville. Boy Scout meeting. fixed tube in road. Kevin fixed DR light.

21Feb The Torrey Boys have already invited themselves over for the weekend. this really makes me dread my weekends off. Koren appt. at Shear Shop. Kate made a picnic with the sheets of paper from the OTC box adn then pointed overhead and said "Look-a quacky bird" like on Dragon Tales.

22FEb Kate puked on Kevin 2x a.m. and stayed home from Kay's. she finished antibiotic. her rash is worse. Koren modeled her Homecoming Dress for us. KJ did his homework alone.

23Feb I fell asleep after alarm went off and was later than usual to work. KJ's class won Spirit Award at Homecoming. Koren and Ash got ready for dance here. Kevin fell on ice in driveway and hit his knee. I hid Pop Tarts and Pepsi in Koren's closet before the weekend company arrived. Katie went to Homecoming Pep Rally with Kay's Kids.

24FEb KATe up most of night with fever and uncomfortable, then the puking commenced. She is glassy eyed and red cheeked and pukes every time I give her Motrin or cough Rx. she can keep down room temp Pepsi. (which was given to Koren after one of her childhood surgeries as a fever reducer). she's very snuggly. Koren called for ride home and I'd left lights on in car, battery dead, so Ash's parents brought her home. I can't help but think Katie would feel better if our company would go home.

25Feb our guests coughed loudly all night and we up and talking loudly while Kevin was trying to sleep. (he works night shift. as in 6 p.m.-6 a.m.) Katie still puking. she now says 'puking'. Kevin to Lije's to move in furniture and "tour the trailer".

26FEb Kevin took Katie to Dr. (note: he runs the day shift. I work all day. I run the night shift. he works all night.)Vantin 2 rounds, give her full dose of cough Rx and mix Benadryl powder with lotion and apply to wet skin for rash and increase allergy Rx to both kids. KJ on Singular now, too. Kate's lungs clear, just sinus stuff. tylenol suppository for fever. Showering out at work I was thinking that I'll give Koren my copy of GAP CREEK as a wedding gift with an inscription 'they say the first year is always the worst- love, Mom.'(didn't do this. do not have this book now. I often purge books.)

27Feb cancelled school. Kj bawled himself to sleep last night because his friends can't sleep over on his birthday. Now I feel super guilty. (hmm. what is this about? the kids always had HUGE sleepovers for their birthdays....) Kevin has signed up for 6 extra days in the next 3 weeks.

27 FEb. no school.

28Feb Rhonda next door asked if she could give away our feral cats that hang out at her house....she caught 5 and got rid of them including Kate's favorite big black cat with the bad paw. (don't remember this cat.) Kate puked after I gave her medicine. I spilled the next dose all over her. she was screaming for her 2nd bath of the day so let her have one. then she started screaming and KJ was yelling at her, I was yelling at KJ...(sigh)

1March Katie was still acting sick morning, so Kevin kept her home, I left work at 11 so he could grab a nap before work. The Digamon game I made for KJ's party didn't turn out like I wanted and I was grumbly, KAte kept saying 'it looks good, Mom, I like it.' and other reassuring things.

3MArch last night did the cake, blew up balloons, hung up streams and cleaned. moderated sibling disagreements . Kate is as excited as KJ about his birthday party.

Mother Nature A History of Mothers, Infants, and Natural Selection Mothers have worked for as long as our species has existed, and they have depended on others to help them rear their children. working mothers feel more ambivalence than mothers who stay home with their children. the sensory and cognitive makeup of modern infants, the panic they still feel at seperation, is distilled from innumerable past lives in which the infants most likely to survive were those who could prevent seperation from their mothers. for mothers and infants the biggest clash between ancient predispositions and modern lifestyle is the physical seperation required by modern work places. mothers find it stressful to go off to work and leave their infants behind. babies find it even more so. an awareness of our primate heritage carries with it a warning to women of good sense to keep an eye on their calenders. ovulation can be hazardous to your judgement.

5March KJ told Katie to quit copying him. she told him to go in the kitchen and wash his face.

6March specialist told Kevin tendonitis and renewed arthritis Rx. KJ talking about killing himself pm. he has nothing to live for and Dad hates him and Koren hates him and says he's a wuss cause he can't sleep in his room. Ashley even talked to him on the phone to try and cheer him up. (dear God. this is scary.)

7March. went to championship BB game Chillicothe. Katie made friends with some little girl.

8MArch. my exercise video stuck in VCR . Kj did get it out, it's toast. (yeah. I used to exercise. a couple of walking ones. Idrea someone.) KJ got all his mullet cut off. it's his hair, but I'm sad. baked Kj another birthday cake.

9March. gave KJ a birthday pop tart with a lit candle and let him pick out 1 present to open before I went to work.

The Better Angel Walt Whitman In The Civil War diarrhea affected 54% Union soldiers, 99% Confederate. eventually claimed nearly 100,000. thousands suffered from chronic diarrhea the rest of their lives. Civil War Drs were apt to prescribe a bewildering and generally ineffective array of drugs at the first sign of an illness. and bleeding, cupping, leeching, binding and chafing, flannel belly bands. calomel administered in massive doses for virtually every disease. and it didn't take much calomel to induce chronic mercury poisoning with horrorific short term and insidious long term effects.

11March. Kate & I fell asleep in chair. I woke up at 6:30 and went to work. why didn't my alarm go off???

13March KJ told Koren he wants to work at Pizza Hut when he grows up, and if they fire him, he'll work in a barn.

13MArch KAte is feeling 100% better. rash almost gone. Koren off to FBLA word processing contest. Post mistress came by last night with a stack of mail and books. she'd forgotten to put a pick up at post office slip in our mailbox so just delivered it. Koren wants to be a Coyote Ugly type bartender. she won 3rd place! KJ came home crying off the bus because he got 86% on his science test. then he couldn't find his new VHS and tore the house apart.

15March. PT Conference. Kj will start typing all homework. teacher can't read his writing. Koren got 100% on that constitution test she was in tears over.

16MArch. Kevin called 6:30a.m. from Willis, he barely made it there from Lucerne, waiting on Larry to get him Blazer keys, then he'll come get me and take me to work. no one answering at barn, called JCI to tell them I'd be late. Kevin decided the roads were too bad, he'd help me feed and bring me home but we of course were there till 2:30 so he didn't get any sleep. I fell on front porch in shorts and hiking boots taking out trash skinned up elbow. and I'm the adult in charge.

17 March that woman called, her boys want picked up to spend the weekend. I told her no, the roads were bad and I wasn't getting out. some people have nerve. 51 degrees and snow up to the top of gumboots. Kids all coughing and sneezing and watery eyes. and this is ON ALLERGY RX. KAte had fun when Dr KJ gave her a checkup but he didn't play long enough and then she was sad.

memories.....I was a shy kid on the bus envying all those town kids walking home. I had to go home and do chores. I practiced pom pom routines with my shadow on front of barn. wished on every first star for a boyfriend. kicking my feet on the petrified wood in the barn when I couldn't feel my toes anymore in winter. digging my gumboots out of the nasty slime in pig pen when they got sucked off my feet. sitting on the stone wall in front of the high school so I could get a glimpse of Kevin going by on Vo Tech Bus. my heart would leap when he waved at me. I craved him so bad then.