today mom sold the cows.....

one guy bought the herd....and he is going to lease the farm and leave the cows there....so it will be just like it always was, just no dad. I can just pretend like he's at work, or out checking cows when I stop by and I just missed him....probably an unhealthy way to deal with things, but it is what it is, and much better than the reality of the situation. I think the reason I have such a problem with losing loved ones is that I don't find Heaven to be a comforting concept. and I'm really not sure I buy into it. you won't know until it's too late to do anything about it. And how can I believe in ghosts and not believe in any other kind of afterlife? stupid, but there you have it.