another crazy dream....

there is a large family gathering at a hospital. why are we all there? then more people arrive, and I am handed a baby, a fat fat blonde baby covered in spit up wearing a baby blue sleeper. whose baby is this? I'm wearing that bohemian dress I was so excited came in my size (I literally could put it on, but it wasn't all loose and flowy like it was on the facebook model, but I fell in love with the fabric, and I did pay for it, so it is becoming part of my Victorian Crazy Quilt), with no bra (and the button up front gapped so bad I couldn't wear it) and the stained up bathrobe I wear when I dye my hair. what is this outfit? what am I thinking? then I have to pee, so duck into a little room at Grandma Grace's house (evidently attached to this hospital?) and find a closet toilet. there is water in the tank, so I pee and try to figure out how to cover up the fact that I'm not wearing a bra. there is a fridge in a waiting area like thing, and all these leftovers in rubbermaid containers. we're all sneaking into this fridge and eating what are most likely employee lunches. then I have to go thru a farrowing room and am escorted to a little tiny room that looks like the tack room in a horse show barn....trophies and ribbons and framed pics of horses all over the walls, and saddles...in the middle of this, is Katie in a hospital bed, her hair flowing all around her like The Little Mermaid, reaching her arms out to me, tears in her eyes. I am trying to get to her but there is shit everywhere. I touch her leg and am trying to find my way around the bed to give her a hug. I'm crying cause she's in pain. and I'm like KATIE is the one having a baby???? and then of course the alarm goes off. so I'll never know.

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i aspire to great things, but don't do anything to get there...