6.01.2017

this is a facebook post about being a c-section mom.

it made me cry. my situation was not exactly like hers. my scar is up and down and long. I survived it. 3 times. the thing is delivering a baby. we can't all do it the 'right' way.
I now belong to a badass tribe of mamas with the scar to prove that I had a baby cut out of me and lived to tell the tale. ( because you can die from this, you know. ) Having a shrieking infant pulled out of an incision that is only 5 inches long, but is cut and shredded and pulled until it rips apart through all of your layers of fat, muscle, and organs (which they lay on the table next to your body, in order to continue to cut until they reach your child) is a completely different experience than I had imagined my birth to be. This was not pleasant. It still isn't. You use your core muscles for literally everything... even sitting down, imagine not being able to use them because they have literally been shredded and mangled by a doctor and not being able to repair them for 6+ weeks because your body has to do it naturally. When that first nurse asked you to try getting out of bed and the ripping pain of a body cut apart and stitched back together seared through you, you realized the irony of anybody who talks about it being the "easy way out". So fuck you and fuck how you see what I did. I am the strongest woman, that I know. Not only for myself, but for my beautiful kids... and I would honestly go through this every single day just to make sure I am able to see their smiling faces.

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i aspire to great things, but don't do anything to get there...