2.28.2015

on Season 4 of True Blood. Kate is spending the weekend at Koren's. Kevin joined the Half Century Club today.

there was some snow fall. I finally finished the batch of laundry soap. did a few dishes. made some tea. ate leftover pizza for supper. have almost stayed up till 10 p.m.! my left lower jaw and ear hurt now. back to generic Benadryl. guess I'm gonna live. the sky was so pretty on the way to work...kept stopping and taking pictures. not nearly as pretty walking afternoon risers, however...

2.27.2015

to sleep, perchance to dream.....

today while vaccinating pigs realized that when Donnie smiles, he looks like my dad. have been sleeping a lot, just a drag ass week. going to bed early, sleeping till the last possible second before I have to get ready for work. have sacraficed facebook time, blogtime, reading time, tv time.....just want to sleep. I always have crazy ass dreams....but the more I sleep, the wilder they get. the other night Kevin & the kids & I were in church. all dressed to the nines. the pews kept moving, like the staircases at Hogwarts. we got separated. I lost a shoe. the kids were adults, then they were small again. last night we went to Dollar General. my mom was the door greeter. she also had a lost and found service, and a private detective agency. Aunt Mary was there, she had found a pocketbook in the parking lot and wanted to contact the owner. my late great Aunt Minerva was walking around with that mischievous smile of hers on her face. Brenda was running the register. she had to run outside and apprehend a shop lifter. I ended up back at our old apartment in Bethany, but there was no one there I knew. and a giant demon dog (yeah, I watched Monsters and Mysteries in America last night, and it was the demon dog episode.) first I was afraid, then I was petting him. I went to the library, but I ripped my shirt to shreds and was almost naked. and I needed a pepsi, but had no money. and I didn't recognize anyone. so, I had to leave, but I didn't know where to go....that's all I remember.

2.25.2015

today's goal is to stay up past 7 p.m. didn't get off work in time to mail the book I sold on amazon. stopped at store on way home,

did chores, emptied dish washer, made tea, did dishes in sink. phew. snowing.

kevin met me at gas station on way home from work yesterday and paid for my gas....

stayed up till almost 7 p.m. before I called it a night and went to bed. I am a horrible mother and a horrible person. thank God the kids are old enough to fend for themselves these days....feel better today. have to find something to package this book I sold in, then head off to work and remember to mail said book on way home from work...

2.24.2015

Sunday we went to the city to celebrate the boys birthdays.....

family bonding time in the car with Kevin & Kate....playing with Ian...admiring the house, environment, toys, everything that Koren & Cody have provided for their baby....he is happy, intelligent, playful, content...I am so proud of her. she was born to be a momma. and there is no greater thing in the world! it was a fabulous day!
I was car sick on way home, so laid down in back seat. came home, went to bed. up about midnight re-enacting the puke scene from The Exorcist. cleaned the bathroom, got some sleep, made it thru work, shaky and exhausted. came home thru Ptown to mail a book sold on amazon since they stay open later, then home to do chores, drink some hot tea, eat toast, and went to bed. woke up a few times for drinks, and now time to go back to work. feel better. maybe it was just a breakdown....needed to get some sleep. and live on crackers and toast for a couple days. whew!

2.22.2015

finished watching Season 2 of True Blood dvds last night and I was thinking Sam running naked is about the bomb...

today Daisy wakes me up with her barking at KJ's door and I stumble on this blog.....
http://fascinationwithfear.blogspot.com/2011_08_01_archive.html
and damn, this girl wrote just how I feel!
of course, she's talking Season 4 and I'm not there yet.....he just gored Maryanne to save everyone. the whole town was under her spell....no right, no wrong, no moral compass...fucking, drinking, vandalizing, running around in various states of nudity, just doing whatever Maryanne tells them to do or they feel like doing. and then when it's over, no one remembers except Sam, Jason, Sookie, Hoyt, Tara, Andy, and the vampires.

2.21.2015

made a point of setting my alarm today to get up and get to post office.

after a long hiatus of not listing books on amazon since I didn't have time to get to post office and ship, I listed a few. and forgot about them. one sold, and I just happened to see the email. I was late on confirming, late on shipping. but gotter done today. and did the few bills that were due, started laundry, did chores, glanced longingly at the huge Reese's Easter bunny on the table (to Katie from Damion),did outside chores, cleaned out bill box and top of microwave, did some genealogy blogging, and found Ian's name book behind tv that I forgot to give him. watched a couple episodes of True Blood,, made lunch, took a nap, and now reading He Heard His Brother Call His Name, which is about the dad from the father Pilgrim book I just read and his twin brother....anyways....there is a family tradition handed down from his family where a heavy linen tablecloth is used for the family dinner each Christmas Eve, and signed by each attendee. then the name is embroidered in thread as a keepsake. how amazingly cool is this? imagine all the generations of signatures.....I want to start this. will I remember come December? time will tell, I guess. Katie's big class fundraiser is today, the sponsor asked for parent volunteers, but Katie has this dread of her mom volunteering at school, she removed me from Band Boosters and the Elementary Fall Festival so I would no longer skulk about the school weirdly hanging out with young children. I did not volunteer, but told her to call me if she needs me. I feel bad. and guilty for not volunteering. and somewhat relieved that I can just hang out on my couch all evening. because I am lazy and antisocial. these are known facts. I almost emailed her sponsor a few times to explain why I didn't volunteer, but that makes me look like someone whose life is run and dictated by her teenager (truth) and makes Katie look a bit evil and controlling, so will just let her think I am a worthless excuse for a human being. life is so complicated. after a couple of rather long and very busy days at work, I check facebook while making lunch to see a coworker who was supposed to work today changing her profile pic. ok, maybe she is hiding in the bathroom on her phone. then a post that she couldn't get to work, doesn't have a way to get there. and I am remembering her trying to talk me into leaving stuff for her and the manager to do today instead of us doing it yesterday. now I think I probably should've stayed longer and did more. did he work alone today? will she find a way to work tomorrow? will she even come back? are we back on the waiting list for someone new? and I just wrote a heartfelt and probably illegible note about our long day Friday and how impressed I was with Leanna and Danny working so hard. yesterday was the first time since my forced relocation that I have felt like it was my barn, that I was 'home'. because I often catch myself thinking, 'what the fuck, this isn't even my barn.' yesterday clicked, finally. great.

2.20.2015

Ian is not a fan of hats

these facebook posts from Koren make my day.....my grandma Pauline in California knew me by letters, and I know my grandson Ian by visits and the facebook posts and phone calls and texts from his momma inbetween....

2.19.2015

we were told the cat has to go. cats can carry parvo. pigs can get parvo.

so I come home and google search. the closest thing to parvo in cats in feline luekemia. whatevs. we all had to have a private one on one chat with the production supervisor today about cull tags and euthanasia and criterias and protocols. so guess who had to work a bit late because she got behind? yep. this ol' gal. laundry, chores, store to get stuff for supper and Kate's fundraiser. making hamburgers. ready to collapse in a heap here in a bit.....been a long one. Kevin got his knee shot today and something new for pain maintenance. Katie went on the vo-tech visit today and decided that is not an option for her.

...and back out into the cold, cruel world I go....

2.18.2015

I have spent a wonderful day in my jammies, doing a bit of laundry, making a new batch of fabric softener, and starting a new batch of laundry soap

(I always feel a bit like a pioneer mama when I do this, sometimes I think I'll even make a sourdough starter and make my own bread, too, but who am I kidding? I am just far too busy spinning the yarn from the wool I shear from my flock of sheep to even deal with breadmaking..... )
Miss Katie made it thru a day of school ok, I watched dvds: Don Juan Demarco (Johnny Depp!) and several episodes of True Blood. Finished reading Pilgrim's Wilderness, which was not quite what I thought it would be, and how did I never hear about this? I guess I should really watch the news more....I myself have a little daydream of going off the grid....a cabin in the woods....no "real job" to go to everyday, just having a little homestead and doing the daily chores to provide for ourselves....a garden, Kevin can hunt, chopping wood, maybe some fishing....I could even hang laundry out on the line, although I would rather not have to scrub it on a rock. but I guess I could. if I didn't have to go to work every day....drying vegetables in the rafters...homemade quilts on the bed...but I would like to have internet. and satellite. and free time to read and sleep and watch tv and daydream. maybe even go looking for Bigfoot.
I made a delectable pot of potato soup for a cold day. not my mom's fabulous homemade version, but a damn good Big Creek version (from a bag. add boiling water, simmer 10 minutes.). and alas, no steaming plate of johnny cakes like mom made, but some good Zesta saltines. I did make real honest to goodness had to get on the internet and google cornbread recipe since I was too lazy to find the cookbook, which is just lying on the kitchen table since the last time I used it and didn't put it away....but that was last nite, and it was on top of chili, since Katie felt good enough to request grandma Janet's chili cornbread casserole. and a search of the pantry revealed no Jiffy cornbread mix that I could find. but there is probably some lurking in there. there always is.
now a certain young ex-boyfriend of my youngest daughter is in our driveway with said daughter in his vehicle, he came to talk to her, she is of course mortified to have anyone enter our dog-infested house. and I am in my jammies, although since I have on a bra, they are technically just "clothes" at this point. the bra makes all the difference, you see. anyways, there is probably going to be some prom dress shopping in our immediate future. that is the jist I am getting. he is a junior, and old enough to go to prom, and he can invite anyone in 9th grade or older....which would include said daughter, and she really wants to go to prom...she went to her sister's & brothers (and even years when we didn't have anyone in our immediate family going) proms and watched vehicle processions and grand marches....
Kevin went off to earn his paycheck, and KJ to visit his girlfriend...

a day off.

Boo feels good enough to go back to school. the sun is shining. there is nothing on my to-do list today...didn't make one. to snuggle up in a blanket....to read....perchance to nap.....

2.17.2015

My favorite little glimmer girl has the flu so she won't get to dance at the last home game.....

had a long day at work, I was the brave little pig farmer who stayed until I did all the stuff on my list, although I was alone towards the end...but while I was walking risers, I saw brave little pig farmer Carrie was still at Peach 4...

Miss Boo was up sick twice last night.

no matter how old this momma gets, somehow I still know when they need me! looks like she might miss the dancing at the last game of the year......

2.16.2015

boys will be boys...playing the quarter machine at Toot-Toots...

Miss Boo went to school and not long after I had to bring her home...dizzy and nauseous....

got our taxes did....REFUND! whoop whoop! celebrated with lunch at Toot-Toot's and some shopping at Walmart for necessities.....

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i aspire to great things, but don't do anything to get there...