this old diary...

memories continued....
mom taking me with her to G&G to borrow $to turn the electricity back on when I'd asked for $ for a field trip.
wanting to see Shaun Cassidy in concert at KC in jr high. Aunt Mary took us to Starlight once and he was there with his mom Shirley Jones and came out on the stage with her for a bow. My friends had given me a Shaun Cassidy Teen Beat mag, hung a poster from it in my locker and SOMEONE STOLE IT!
Teen Beat Magazine.
Madonna swinger her leather coat over her head singing
Like A Virgin
on American Bandstand.
saw Rick Springfield on "Fridays" I bought his LP and most of my school wardrobe that year was concert tees and jerseys I ordered from the album!
Lisa Gibson's Rosanna Rosanna Danna impersonation.
track and field day and homecoming week.
4-1 koren stayed home with a cold.
4-2 school book fair, KJ got 3 books, Koren 4. made it thru another school function with KJ and the camcorder. Koren had a recorder solo.
4-5 Nanci has cervical cancer. Todd pushed Andy into the empty pool.
4-6 made Jello Jiggler Eggs instead of boiled eggs. kids & I to G&G, Mom, Dad, & John brought dinner. John took kids to Moberly park.
4-9 forgot to reset alarm when I left for work, Koren missed school.
Koren's the 4th grade princess candidate....she planted her red pine seedling. ...much more fun than painting names on her deceased kitten's 'headstones'.
first bonus check....$119.00 after taxes. KJ cried when Kevin went to feed hay for lije...."I DON'T WANT YOU MOM..."
and thus concludes our little journey through a section of our lives....

this old diary....

'things I will never forget'....(but by the time I transcribed this, had forgotten most of them!)
Charlie giving me a homecoming corsage sr yr and crawling under my old white car to jumpstart it for me after school when the starter went out.
the freedom I felt walking downtown after school and killing time until 4:30 when my shift started at the Snack Shack.
Heaven Scent perfume.
buying my pink lace dress at Bostwicks on clearance for $25 for sr. homecoming. the first dress I'd ever had for a dance that wasn't homemade. there were 5 or 6 of us there in various shades of the same exact dress. kicking off our slide heels and dancing in our pantyhose, holding our long skirts up....the magic of those nights...and all the fun choosing decorations and staying after school to up them up...
calling Snack Shack on Nancy's portable phone for lunch orders
how my heart would race when I sat on the stone wall and got a glimpse of Kevin going by on the VICA bus....
I planned on writing my 1st novel at 15 like SE Hinton and then making my first Victorian crazy quilt at 16 (didn't get too far on that one.....have gotten farther on the one I started this year....)
I was going to be a single mom with a daughter named Shonna Sue.
playing Little House on the Prairie and Charlie's Angels---my sisters and I were going to turn old farm structures into houses and live on the farm when we grew up.
I wanted to go to college at Dubuque, IA or Missouri Valley. I always wanted a Missouri Valley sweatshirt with Snoopy waving a RAH! pendant. (went to dance camp there one summer).
us using a couple of dollars of Koren's birthday money to split an order of FF at Hardees......those were the poor days.
I was a bedwetter. 'nuff said.
I still think of that $2.50 slice of pie I didn't get at Burt's Place in south Missouri and how I didn't get a pic of the kids by the giant ice cream cone @ Osage Beach 'cause I was out of film.
sitting on the dock of our 'lake house' with KJ bobbing with the current and watching boats and gulls.
spilling my large pepsi in Kevin's lap at Pizza Hut when I leaned across table to kiss him.
wearing jeans so tight I had to lie on the bed and soap the zippers to get them on.
mom's homemade donuts.>when us kids had the flu and got to sleep on the fold out couch and eat tv dinners.
I always wanted the JR GS doll that was in the GS catalog when I was a kid.
my stuffed Jonathan dog mom made me for xmas. he was stuffed with rags and weighed a ton.
the xmas at mom and dads when the whole family came....girls in long dresses, guys in leisure suits. there is an old polaroid picture....
Aunt Dona's chocolate cottage cheese cookies.

traditionally, I take Halloween off to volunteer at the school Fall Festival.

Halloween is my hands down favorite holiday of all time (well, except for this year, I'm just not in the mood for anything this year....)...I miss searching for the perfect costume and accessories, planning a Halloween party, decorating the yard, making candy apples, popcorn balls.....Katie got very upset with me last year for volunteering at the party. VERY UPSET. so, this year I went to the chiropractor and had breakfast and went to Hyvee with Kevin instead.
it is a rainy, dreary, damp day, perfect for Halloween. bought a bag of mini Snickers in case we would have trick-or-treaters, but we've only had a handful the many years we've lived here. Katie plans on going to Bethany FB game with Kasen, Kevin has to work. will probably just watch a movie.
Kate is in Art Club so worked at party....I watched "Way Down East", a silent film starring Lillian Gish. I love silent films....so dramatic. they remind me of high school plays with the exaggerated facial expressions and emotions and gestures....


came home today to new front porch lights and a rebuilt garage door and frame....

Kevin picked Katie uip from dance and made chili for supper. I took a nap on couch, then watched American Horror Story Coven with Katie.....

my memorial service.....

coolers of pepsi, naturally....
cremation....no viewing
play "Time in a Bottle" by Jim Croce, Color My World, Cherish, Keep On Lovin' You...
and live elephant rides would be cool!


and Koren is doing it too....


mandatory ins. meeting.
Katie to Brittany's bonfire, KJ to movies with Dakota and Jennie, Koren texted the punch recipe so I went & bought ingredients. cleaned house, found plates and napkins and forks left over from anniversary party.

Message to my teenagers....

MESSAGE TO MY TEENAGERS ~ (author unknown)
1. Yes, your freshman AND Sophomore years count towards your GPA for college entrance. Screw it up and you’ll work for crap wages your whole life.
2. No means NO. In every possible circumstance.
3. Join every sport, every club, every after school activity no matter what the cost. It’s cheaper than bail.
4. Repeat after me: I am never in that much of a hurry…I am never in that much of a hurry. Now say that every time you get behind the wheel. It will save your life and that of your best friend in the seat next to you.
5. Don’t do drugs or drink - it is so not worth the trouble.
6. Don’t get a credit card. You earn it or you live without it.
7. If I yell at you, it’s because I love you. And also, because you pissed me off. To avoid the latter, don't be an idiot. And don't disappoint me. More importantly, yourself.
8. Make a vivid picture inside your head of every great moment of your childhood. You’ll need those to get through adulthood.
9. Make snow angels as often as possible. Make a bucket list. Check it off!
10. Stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves.
11. Be always benevolent. Yes, that’s a word. Look it up.
12. Call me for a ride even if you are so drunk you barely know my number. I’ll probably be mad for a while but I’ll respect you for calling and I won’t kill you. Riding with someone who is drinking will. (PS - remember #5?)
13. Be a leader, not a follower. Unless you are following the kid with the highest GPA and (s)he is going to a study group, then by all means be a follower!
14. Love your siblings, even when you don’t like them. Some day you will be trying to get them to take care of me in my old age. If they are mad at you, you are stuck with me.
15. I’ve been there, done that on more things than you can imagine. I’m not stupid and I know what you are doing. I was once you (times ten).
16. Work hard at everything you do. Anything worth doing is worth doing well.
17. Cover it. (Enough said.)
18. When I tell you to clean your room, do not point at my messy room and raise your eyebrows. I’m trying to raise you to be better than me.
19. Learn to type; to budget; to spell correctly and to pray. All are equally important.
20. Never be sedentary. Someday soon you will no longer be able to move like that. Enjoy it.

this old diary....

3-4-96"Those BBQ chips are mine!" KJ Dailey
3-6-96 Koren pueking
3-7-96 KJ sick p.m.
3-8-96 Kevin says KJ likes to use the urinal at Wendy's.
3-9-96 KJ s 4. KJ gotr card & $4 from G&GBrown, $10 & 3 pr of sweatpants from M&D, card from Lisa, Koren a Slinky and from us 2 playmobile sets, Ryan Steele maks, & Batman Blanket.
3-10 KJ got up with me a.m. and saw part of a movie while rewinding a tape where a sea monster ate a guy-KJ said he'd go in the tv & kick that monsters butt & pull that guy out & make that monster little like a baby & he'd cry.
3-11 my first Mary Kay party with valet parking!
3-18 Kevin did school conference, principal went on & on about "Koren is so wonderful and bright and gifted and such a joy." our first Diaper Derby, Kevin had to work. KJ was reasonably good.
3*-19 cut up and returendd Associates, C.B., VISA, and AT&T cards.
3-27 the preacher at Ravanna revival told them that Hell smelled like a burning car.
the cows always getting into corn and alfalfa & having to run them out.
the long staggered line of cows headed for the barn.
huddling in the truck with my sisters crooning "I Want To Go Home" while Dad was cutting wood.
the bear eating mom's head off dream
>crouching in the barn at Modena during the tornado
dad playing dead under clothesline one summer night
kicking the barn wall in the winter when our toes went numb.
wishing on a star for a boyfriend.
getting snubbed on a GS weekend trip to Camp Woodland & no one would talk to me---and in HS. I was snubbed & ignored until I found new friends who didn't do that shit.
holding hands with Randy K. on the churh bus after a skating trip (didn't remember this one transcribing in 2013!)
Mary Ann's boyfriend Ronald writing me love letters
Stanley R. flipping me over his shoulder playing Cowboys & Indians in the yard.
sitting with Kevin on the VICA bus that first night-and how I thought of him the whole time I was with Kenny.
Brad J.
hopeless crushes on shy guys who never noticed me.
making a disco bag and string tie for my 'outfit' in JH, tan jeans, white blouse with tie and disco pouch.
the strobe lights in the JH sunken guy at our JH sockhops.
Brad hiding Tickle Pink for me in the rocks behind the Snack Shack.
me, Shirley, & Misty cruising Trenton drinking Sonic PB shakes and looking for guys.
how cool I thought CAthie, Lisa, & Callene looked in 10th grade when they wore corduroy blazers over plaid prairie blouses, jeans, with hose and pumps.
the wild ride Mr Harrelson took us on down C highway
how cool I felt doing pompon routines. I practiced with my shadow on the front of the barn.
when Jackie from Cainsville tried to pick me up at a BB game...he was 14 and I was 17. I'd get up on game days at 4:30a.m., take a bath, do my hair, etc.
Brad M interrupting what I was sure was going to be my first kiss.

this old diary

1-12-199 6my first day as PSF Nursery Manager. Koren's grades: Reading A, Language A, Spelling A+, Math B+, Science A-, Social Studies A, Handwriting A-.
1-13-96 my first Sat. off since May. I watched Fox cartoons, kids slept till 12:15p.m. Reading Body of Knowledge by Carol Dawson. To Trenton: KFC, to Grandma Grace & Grandpa Vermals, returned book she'd loaned me and she gave me some other stuff to keep. Hy-Vee, Places.
1-14-96 we all slept till 10:45a.m. Scooby unrolled all TP, hid KJ's new Terminator action figure, unplugged water bed and alarm in addition to the usual puppy piles and puddles. Ordered GS cookies from Jessica and Ashley.
1-15-96 to see horses.
1-17-96 Kevin signed up to drive risers on his nites off for $6.50/hr.
1-18-96 I got stuck on Mercer square, no school.
1-19-96 John called, Grandma Grace accidently locked herself out of house yesterday, fell and broke her leg-the neighbors called the ambulance for her. she went to Trenton then St Joe and surgery today, Mom is staying with Gpa. Grandma is 79.
1-24-96 Kj told Koren "Sis, do your your fuckin' homework."
1-25-96 Koren wants to quit enrichment.
1-26-96 Troy Honn died from a gunshot wound while he was in a car with 2 other guys-funeral tomorrow.
1-28-96 Koren made lasagna for supper.
1-30-96 Scooby ate Batman crayons.
2-2-96 Scooby got on bed and tore up some autographed book of Lijes.
2-4-96 coworker gave us a stray Bassett hound he can't keep, doesn't seem to like us much....
2-5-96 dog still here when I left for work: gone when I got home.
2-6-96 drove around looking for Spot.
2-7-96 Koren appears to have chicken pox, KJ wrote on LR wall with a pen.
2-11-96 Koren having pierced ears adds a whole new dimension to our relationship.
2-14-96 Roses! from Kevin & kids.
2-17-96 my first official day as farrowing manager.
2-21-96 KJ got a slight shock unplugging blow dryer after his bath.
2-22-96 Kj can count to 9
2-23 Koren made supper and transformed KJ into Amy complete with dress.
2-24-96 Wendy's drivethru has a digital screen that prints your order on it....COOL!
2-26 KJ & I slept till 1:30p.m. KJ came in kitchen last nite looking worried after a big clap of thunder and asked if there were any dinosaurs outside.
2-29 waited in line about 2 hours at JCP for family picture.
3-1-96 boys to get taxed done...$60 back, pay $60, $61 prep fee.
Lanny sent a dog home from work with me....Kevin told me to hit the road...no more animals....Koren christened him Shannon Lee.


FFA pumpkin carving....

and I've discovered Bitstrips on facebook....

I keep telling myself he got to raise his kids and know his grandkids and he had a good life. Lots of dad's don't get as much time as he did, but it's still hard.

I'll always miss my dad, but I couldn't wish for him to hurt anymore.

it's Thursday.....

I did get up and get Katie off to school and Kevin off to Willis (he couldn't change oil yesterday).
Todays To Do List:
watch new episode of American Horror Story The Coven
look for cups in basement
fashion a dog shelter
Bubba came home today! Katie had dance then pumpkin carving. she got supper at gas station on way home, then we watched Coven (her first time, my 2nd!), Kevin brought home a dog house and straw so now I don't feel as guilty, they all have shelter from the cold wind.
watched Infamous on HBO accidently....the story of Truman Capote writing In True Blood


Kate late to school, I turned off alarm and fell back asleep....

Kevin to get oil changed and 'to the farm'....
I watched Brickleberry and American Hoggers....
now need to run to store to get stuff to make Kevin apple crisp from the apples he brought home from farm and to Martha's to get rid of drawer pulls and see if she has a lace tablecloth, can't find mine that Koren just gave me back....
plan is for Katie & I to go to Mom's after dance practice to put picture collages together.
now to just get my lazy ass out of the house....
I did get to Martha's, texted Koren about the tablecloth, made the apple crisp, it was raining, then snowing huge flakes, then back to rain again....my boss stopped by and told me to take the rest of the week off and apologized for me working last weekend, and said the company was sending a plant to the service. very strange. he is the best boss I've ever had, I do believe. he constantly surprises me. not used to be treated nicely at work....


all I want is this cabin, wherever it may be....and the peaceful existance I think you would have there....

how big were those rats???

“Eaten by mountain rats”, Colorado. Date: c.1876. Source: Pike's Peak Cog Railway. *............Story with photo;
“In 1876, Pike’s Peak Signal Station attendant Private John O’Keefe told tall tales of life in the station to lawyer, newspaper man and drinking friend, Eliphat Price. O’Keefe recounted a story of large, man-eating rats that lived in caves on Pikes Peak. “The story grew to include how these rats attacked him and his wife and daughter in the station itself – devouring a side of beef in less than five minutes. While Private O’Keefe tried to protect his family using a club to fend off the rats, it was actually Mrs. O’Keefe who saved the day by electrocuting the rats with a coil of wire connected to the signal station’s battery. “According to the story, her efforts were too late. Before she could connect the wire to the battery terminals, hundreds of these killer rats had already devoured Erin, the O’Keefe’s only daughter. “O’Keefe quickly erected a grave on the summit to support his story and to woo tourists. However, O’Keefe wasn’t married and he didn’t have a daughter. Despite this, the story hit the wires and ended up being published in many newspapers around the globe.” - Pike’s Peak



got the bank deposit done, the nut stuff to Chillicothe....where I found out I didn't get the receipt properly verified....suck my dick. seriously. I could've scanned and emailed that to you and you could've printed out the reports yourself....making the whole trip quite unnecessary. but I did take some pics and go to Wal-Mart and recycle magazines and order Dad and Grandpa flowers. so not a wasted day, I guess. Saw on facebook that Lisa is working on her memories. I should do that. The only one I come up with is the wedding one...
supper with Mom & Brenda last nite. they seem to be doing alright. John and Lisa & boys had left. memorial service is scheduled for next Sunday...so have to cancel GS outing to pumpkin patch and think of something to make up for it. also got facebook message from a new troop in Spickard that wants us to invite them to something....signed up for the damnable mandatory (WHY WHY WHY IT'S ALWAYS THE SAME DAMN THING?????) cookie training in Cameron. need to return the call to the Norma B***** about cookie training. why can't I just be a GS leader with out all the bullshit? why am I driving to Chillicothe and Cameron? why must the girls constantly sell shit? why didn't I just quit this like I did Band Boosters and Halloween Party Mom?
and Paul's horses were out. that was fun....he was just stoicly walking up the road with his lariat....
returned that call to Norma, Lord help me....tried to call Aunt Mary to make sure she knew about memorial service, she doesn't have voice mail set up on her cell phone...watched World War Z and scared myself shitless...AND took a few links out of the too long facebook custom made necklace that I ordered tooooooo long and put them in the facebook custom made bracelet that I didn't order long enough.....all with my brand new pair of $5 jewelry pliers I bought today because I can't find the ones I already have!
and now Katie is not only selling candy for dance....she is also selling Red Wheel for FBLA, but that minimum sale requirement is much more manageable.....because the more candy I buy, the more candy I will eat and I really can't be gaining any weight or I won't fit thru doorways anymore....

my dad is gone.

he died while Katie & I were on the way to the hospital to visit Friday morning. We had a mini wake in his room with Mom, Brenda, John, Lisa, Max, Logan, and Aunt Mary, complete with ice water and snacks provided by hospital, then went to lunch at Lakeside, then to the mortuary for arrangements. He wanted to be cremated and have his ashes scattered on the farm. there will be a memorial service.
it was my weekend to work, and I made it through. it wasn't fun, but got it done. have the next 3 days off. baby Ian's shower is Saturday. Dad will never get to be a great grandpa, even though he always was a 'great' grandpa. I know it was for the best and I didn't want him to suffer but I miss having a dad, although I am 48 years old with 2 grown children and a teenager. you don't know what you've got till it's gone.
he got to work up till last week, he was never one for being idle. that man taped his fingers back on with electrical tape when he about sliced them off working and milked on crutches and with the flu. he was tough. and hard headed. he always had time to read to grandkids or challenge them to a game of checkers or take them for a tractor ride. he loved his family, his farm, and his cows. building fence and cutting wood were his hobbies.
Katie made the calls for me, bless her heart.
she went to Chase's Sat. nite, I came home and crashed on couch watching the Ghost Adventures Villisca Axe Murder House episode.
blew off the GS nut sale, saw the reminder and had to hustle to get the word out to turn orders in, the girls came thru like champs, got it all online, and will deliver to Chillicothe tomorrow after I make bank deposit. and when was the absolute positively must be done deadline? tomorrow, of course....
my sisters put me in charge of ordering the Dad and Grandpa arrangements.


a day off.....

took Katie to school, then came home and tried to watch Ghost Adventures, ended up just going back to bed. got up, made lunch, went with kevin to do liscence plate stuff, then to P/T conferences.


grim news at work....

losing one Weds. off a month....trying to save weekends off...but definitely get my next 2 days off and my baby week off. supposedly 5-6 weeks before we get anyone....I am tired of it.
we went to see Dad. Katie was a lot stronger than I was. Kevin reminded me of the long ago trip to the former Wrights Memorial Hospital where Grandma Grace whipped her nightgown up to show us her cast on her broken leg and flashed us all....


prayers for comfort, courage, acceptance, and peace.

I got the gist from several text messages, then my mom called. it's not good. a hospital stay, maybe hospice, counting days. I cried.


back to work and school today....

Kevin's therapy is done. Katie worked on an FFA fundraiser picking up sticks after school, then needed Twizzlers for an ag project tomorrow. coal pitch dark by 7p.m. now. and we jammied up right after we got home! watched Catfish and Glee. her pill is making her feel pueky and her piercings hurt.

whatta weekend!

came home from work, put dogs out, did chores, changed clothes, threw on makeup, then we picked up Viv and headed to KC.....Koren had supper waiting for us, God Bless Her. Kevin checked us into hotel on way to her house, we had a delicious supper and hung out awhile, then left the girls and headed to our hotel for alone time....Kevin booked one with a king size bed and a whirlpool in the room...it was nice.
met up with them again Sat. am, had breakfast at Big Biscuit, then off to Ren Fest. We had the tickets, and we got put in another parking lot, so they had to wait at their gate for their tickets....but it was all perfect after that little snafu. I was enchanted....fairies, pirates, wolves, Spiderman, ladies in waiting, princesses, lords, knights, trolls, elfs, maidens, kings, jesters, gypsies, wizards, witches....we bought cinnamon almonds and a huge turkey leg....Kevin bought me a beautiful metal rose...which reminded me of our alone time on our anniversary last year....so sweet!
then met them at Rally House where Kevin bought a new Poe jersey, then to the mall for Katie to get 2 cartilage piercings. we left them and Koren helped her shop for a barnwarming outfit, Kevin took me to Victoria's Secret to buy a real bra. Wow....I have boobs again! we ate supper at Hereford House, then back for another night at our fabulous hotel.
Sunday we got up, packed, checked out, had breakfast at Sonic, bought earplugs at Target, which I left in the car, but they were handing out earplugs at the game, so all was good. got caught in stadium traffic on I-70, but got into our seats in time for kickoff. fantastic seats! I felt like we really belonged, we knew where our gate was, we knew the chants, First Down, Third Down....I felt like a REAL fan. and we won! 6 and 0, baby! undefeated season! and we got the Loudest Stadium back...we were part of the Guinness Book of World Records event. Kevin met Derek Thomas's son in the Hall of Fame.
got out of the stadium in record time, met them at Texas Road House for supper, then headed for home.
it was just fabulous, all planned by Kevin.

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i aspire to great things, but don't do anything to get there...